What the heck is "Cyclosporia"?

Cyclosporia is a microscopic parasite that is known for causing explosive diarrhea. It has to be transmitted directly from contaminated feces and consumed in order to spread.

Symptoms:

• Watery Diarrhea
• Abdominal Cramps
• Loss of Appetite
• Weight Loss
• Fatigue

These symptoms can last anywhere from a few days to an entire month.

Treatment:

The most effective treatment is prescribed medicine to kill the parasite alongside eating nutritionally dense food and drinking enough water alongside electrolyte supplements to prevent malnutrition and dehydration.

Prevention:

Washing infected produce alone is not enough to prevent the spread of the parasite, you must cook or boil it to kill the parasites as well. The best method of prevention is completely avoiding infected food so only wash and cook fruits and vegetables you cannot throw away.

Where is the outbreak coming from?

Taylor Farms

Taylor Farms has issued a recall on their iceberg lettuce due to it containing the parasite. They're a brand that grows and sells a lot of produce and they've had recalls before. You can buy their packaged produce at pretty much anyplace tha sells grocery items but they also distribute much more discreetly to restaurants and other places where food can be sold.

What places should I avoid?

The following chains either buy directly from Taylor Farms or go though their supplier known as Golden State Foods. It's worth mentioning that Golden State Foods will also sell and distribute to schools, hospitals, workplace cafeterias and airline catering. While it is possible for some people to just avoid going out to contaminated restaurants, that's not the case for everyone.

If you ate at the salad bar at work/school etc. be sure to document everything so you can hopefully get legal compensation for the negiligence of Taylor Farms and DOGE.

• Taco Bell
• Burger King
• Kentucky Fried Chicken
• Pizza Hut
• McDonalds
• Chipotle
• Olive Garden
• Wendy's
• Subway
• Red Lobster

If you went to any of these establishments and got sick, make sure there's documentation! DOGE and Taylor Farms should get the worst class action lawsuit anyone has ever seen in their lives!

Why are people only blaming Taco Bell?

Taco Bell is already associated with causing digestive issues in America because that's just the stereotype we have for all Mexican food so naturally, the cheap Mexican food is considered inferior and therefore has the perception of being guaranteed to cause the runs. This has very little to do with the material knowledge of what actually causes diarrhea or gastrointestinal upset, because if you knew all super sugary and greasy food had the potential of running through your body like a train you wouldn't go to McDonalds or Burger King or to any fast food place ever again! So the most natural solution to this very American problem is leaning against existing hateful biases. As always, everything goes back to racism and keeping the population stupid for billionaire profit. They don't care who dies from eating the shit covered lettuce, they ONLY care about staying on top of the pile of corpses.

Where the hell is the CDC?

Doing basically fuckall because DOGE cut signifigant parts of their funding. They can't monitor outbreaks like this anymore because Elongated Muskrat decided it's "wasteful spending"! Just like all the other billionaires (despite claiming to be a trillionaire because he's sooo ✨not like other rich fucks✨) he is so indifferent to the masses consuming human feces he finds any attempt to mitigate or prevent that "wasted money" I want everyone who is being hospitalized for dehydration because they ate the wrong fucking lettuce during a heat wave to keep that in mind as they're being hooked up to an IV with essential fluids. Some asshole who no one voted for, who isn't even American and doesn't pay taxes like the rest of us with more money than the entire planet decided on behalf of the entire country that keeping HUMAN FECES out of your food is "Wasteful Spending".

We can only hope that once these rich psychopaths start shitting themselves to death they'll care enough to throw their dragon hoard of wealth at the problem.

I hate living through this never ending shitshow...

FUN SILLY HAPPY THINGS

Writing this shit makes me depressed I need my funny happy parts don't yell at me please